What Is Driving Us Crazy?

Slow drivers, especially those refusing to yield the passing lane, make me crazy.

It doesn’t end there. I hate being relegated to a call tree when trying to get an answer to a simple question: 

“If this is an emergency, please hang up…. Press 1 for English…. This call is being recorded for training purposes.” 

Really? WELL IT’S NOT WORKING!

MJ coaches me to settle down, which is frustrating. I thought I was improving. I only tell people to F-off once or twice a month now. 

In her weekly blog, The Marginalian, Maria Popova recently highlighted Lisa Feldman Barrett’s book How Emotions Are Made. Barrett, a psychologist, challenges the classical view in her profession that events in the outside world trigger emotions inside us. Her research strongly suggests that the world comes to us not as it is but rather as we are. 

That’s bad news for me. It implies that I’m making myself crazy.

I suppose I knew that. It’s just hard to accept. According to Barrett, the data are clear. 

“Emotions are not reactions to the world. You are not a passive receiver of sensory input but an active constructor of your emotions. From sensory input and past experience, your brain constructs meaning and prescribes action.”

Regular readers know I’ve practiced mindfulness for many years. I wrote a chapter in my book on this, you can find it on the blog by clicking this link: Silent Fitness. The hard part is integrating mindfulness into daily life.

I’m getting better at handling minor irritations. What’s really hard are the not-so-minor emotions I experience when major bumps occur. We suffer when things don’t go our way, and it’s natural to feel our suffering is justified. But do we really expect to always get our way? We were supposed to learn otherwise in kindergarten.

Living mindfully isn’t easy. Our daughter calls things that upset me my Buddha (teacher). The world really doesn’t drive us crazy or make us sad, lonely, or any other way. We do that on our own. That’s hard to admit! But recognizing the fact is the first step in getting things back on track. 

Life is hard. We don’t always get our way. Some losses are devastating. I’m paying more attention to practices that bring peace into my life. Two examples are covered in the following posts:

Happiness and Hard Times (One of my most popular posts)

The Time of Our Lives (A more recent post and practice) 

If you are completely at peace, you are among the lucky ones. If not, the above links might be helpful. 

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