Thanks again to everyone who purchased my new book, The Secret Within. I would greatly appreciate it if you posted a review on Amazon.
This is the second post in a three-part series that provides a brief preview of the book. I have also posted a video on my YouTube channel featuring an interview I did with the publisher on Part 2.
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Developing Inner Resilience.
In The Secret Within-Part 1, I covered Awakening to Awareness. If you haven’t read Part 1, I suggest reading it now, as Part 2 builds on those learnings.
Let’s begin by examining the stages of emotional pain.
Pain: Stage One
Pain is a violation. Something unexpected and terrible happens; the world collapses, and we turn inward. Conversely, we find ourselves in a place we don’t want to be. Perhaps life didn’t turn out as we expected, so we suffer.
Once pain takes up residence in our Soul, we are blinded, often failing to appreciate the gifts we have; instead, we focus on what we once had or the gap between our reality and desires.
The first stage of pain can last for quite a while. It’s hard to refrain from repeatedly touching our wound.
Pain: Stage Two
Our burden doesn’t go away, but in the second stage of pain, we learn to disguise it, carrying it inside. We put on a cheerful face, and friends intuit we’ve moved on.
In stages 1 and 2, we rely on ourselves to right the ship. But under the weight of unrelenting pain, this isn’t enough, which brings us to the third stage of pain.
Pain: Stage Three
Here, we reach a three-way intersection where we must choose a path forward.
One route is denial, which represents a refusal to work through our pain. Sadly, we usually transmit pain that we cannot transcend. You may be familiar with people who have chosen this route.
Another route is Self-medication, leading to substance abuse, which only makes things worse.
The third route, the only healthy route, leads to a destination beyond Self.
But what does that mean? How does one transcend Self?
Awareness requires a point of reference for us to gain perspective. Our natural point of reference is Self. Self-centeredness is a survival mechanism baked into our DNA. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with that. Self is a thought-generated context. However, when pain or depression takes over, Self is no longer our friend because negative thoughts have taken over. To restore happiness, a new point of reference is required.
It wasn’t until I engaged in mindfulness practices that I understood that a reference point other than Self was possible. I guess that’s natural, “I think, therefore, I am,” wrote the 17th-century scientist and philosopher René Descartes. Self is the firmware we are born with. Once I learned to let go of thought, I discovered presence, a point of reference beyond Self.
The challenge before us is to awaken into presence, an awareness not centered on the thought-controlled Self. This requires Silent Fitness. A subject I will move to next.
Silent Fitness:
There are three components to Silent Fitness: letting go of thought, centering attention, and welcoming presence (stillness).
Most skills are additive, such as learning to drive a car or play the guitar. Silent Fitness, however, is a process of subtraction, a process of letting go. This is understandably unfamiliar territory.
The practices covered in Part 2 of the book helped me become Silently Fit. Each practice approaches the three elements (Letting go of thought, Centering attention, and Welcoming presence) in a different way. Space doesn’t permit going into those practices, so I will focus on the common attributes here, leaving it to you, if interested, to explore them further in the book.
Letting Go of Thought
Our minds are always busy thinking about something we’ve done or need to do. Thoughts trap energy inside, creating stress. If someone is personally rude to you, your irritation will probably linger a while. It’s natural to mull over irritating circumstances, which only makes them worse.
The often-cited technique of pausing and taking a few deep breaths when upset is designed to release built-up energy before it boils over. Learning to routinely let go of pent-up energy is an important component of Silent Fitness.
Centering Attention
Thoughts transport us away from the moment, creating distraction and hindering focus. Once we let go of distracting thoughts, we can re-center our attention and restore “peace of mind.” There are many ways to center attention. Some seem quite mundane. Take, for example, loading the dishwasher.
Let’s say you are already in a foul mood, and now you have to clean up the dinner dishes. No one likes loading the dishwasher. However, rather than being annoyed by the inconvenience, one might focus solely on rinsing the dishes and stacking them in an orderly fashion. When we bring our complete attention to the moment, we are not somewhere else in our heads, stressing about other things. Centering attention is learning to “be here now.” Centering attention brings us closer to life as it happens.
Welcoming Presence
How hard is it for you to sit still for a moment without grabbing your phone and checking text messages or doom-scrolling? It must be pretty difficult for most people because whenever I am in a crowd, everyone has their heads down, locked into their phones. Sitting still for even a few moments is difficult at our harried pace of life. Presence gets us out of our heads and into life, right now! It takes practice.
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Letting go of thoughts, centering attention, and welcoming presence are the three primary components of Silent Fitness. I can almost hear your thoughts: “How hard can that be?”
I can’t answer that question for you, so how about putting your device down right now and trying it for three minutes?
In the famous words of the Terminator, “I’ll be back…..” The three minutes start NOW!
So, how did it go? Were you able to let go of thoughts, or was your mind racing off to things you would rather be doing?
Were you able to center attention on the here and now?
Did you find yourself welcoming this opportunity, or checking your watch to see when the three minutes were up?
I bet I can guess the answers.
Silent Fitness sounds easy, probably too easy to be of much value in addressing our pain. But here’s the thing. Silent Fitness is the only way I’ve found to reveal a presence free from troubling circumstances.
Silent Fitness may sound easy, but what if I asked you to extend the above practice to twenty minutes? How do you suppose that would go?
Is Silent Fitness worth the effort?
You won’t know until you invest in the practices.
What I can state is this: The material I share in The Secret Within took me years to uncover. It may seem easy or inconsequential, but it changed my life, and I believe it can do the same for you. If interested, you can purchase the book here.
I recently created a YouTube channel and uploaded a video interview with the publisher for Part 2: Developing Inner Resilience. You can access it by clicking the link below the picture. I encourage you to subscribe to this channel, as I plan to post video content as a new feature on my blog.
Next week, I’ll conclude this three-part series with Part 3: Living From Inner Peace.
Thanks for supporting my journey!