Posted on by Tim Coats

Holiday Juxtapositions

Note: It’s still not too late to purchase my book as a gift for that hard to buy for person. You can use the link at the bottom of this post!

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Juxtaposition is a crazy word; at least, I’ve always thought so.

It means to place two or more things side by side, often to compare or contrast. Juxta is Latin for “next to.” The first known use of juxtaposition was in 1654. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). There are juxtapositions all around us at Christmas time.

First, there’s the market onslaught of Black Friday, Cyber Monday, extended holiday shopping hours, and non-stop advertisements juxtaposed with warm feelings, gift-giving, and charitable contributions. 

Then, there’s rushing around to get everything done, cleaning the house, cooking food, entertaining family and friends, juxtaposed with the peace of Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. 

Andy Williams nailed it. “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” Except this year, we have our own juxtaposition. 

Early in the evening on the last day of November, our forty-one-year-old son Daniel had a massive stroke. All indications are that it will significantly change his life and ours. It’s a bad time of year for a loved one to be in the hospital. Then again, there’s really never a good time.

Dan’s life has been punctuated with medical trauma. So it’s not his first rodeo, except this pony really knows how to buck! 

Walking down the hallway of the hospital’s neuro-intensive care unit, I couldn’t help but see into patient’s rooms. It was an invasion of privacy, but hard not to look. These folks won’t be attending any Christmas parties. Some were elderly, others simply unlucky. They all presumably have loved ones with their own juxtapositions this season.

Christmas is always a joyous time for our family. Like many families, we have unique traditions, like playing Beatles music when we open presents (I shared that story in my book). We won’t be doing that together this year.

At first, MJ and I weren’t going to get a Christmas tree; we weren’t exactly feeling the Holiday. Then again, we’ve had a tree every year of our life. So, in the end, we cowboyed up and got one. It looks nice, and it brightens the house along with our Spirits.

There are lots of folks facing juxtapositions this holiday season, especially families in Israel, Gaza, Ukraine, and Russia. Plenty of people are facing them here at home, too, like the forgotten people in tent encampments we see along the highway on the way to the hospital. There are even more people facing the holidays alone. 

Dan was in Minneapolis Children’s Hospital over Christmas about thirty years ago. We were touched by how difficult that was, and in following years, we took gifts to the kids there to brighten their holiday. What breaks our heart also breaks it open. That can be a good thing!

Juxtapositions have many angles. Dan’s stroke happened in Oregon, allowing us to be with Julia, Ryan, and our granddaughters over the Holiday. That’s wonderful! Life’s a “whole meal deal,” juxtapositions and all.

 I’ll close with Hallmark sentiment, which for us this year has deeper heartfelt meaning…

“May your Holiday be bright and your loved ones safe and healthy!” 

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10 Replies to “Holiday Juxtapositions”

  1. In this season of joy, it is sometime hard to participate. I’m feeling the confusion, sadness, lack of clarity, but behind it all love. We all say nothing stays the same, but when we say that we know things will change and get better. This one with Dan is hard. My mind is brought to the Carly Simons Song, Coming Around Again. I know you are thinking here it is coming around again. But once again, like Carly says, you guys are finding more room in your broken hearts for love. You all are constantly in my heart. I am sending strength and prayers your way.

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  2. Dear Tim and MJ, Steve and Mary told us about Dan’s recent crisis, and I just wanted you to know that Mark and I are thinking of you all and holding you close. Wishing words could help with the worry and the fear and all of the uncertainty, and knowing that they ring hollow when your child is in a dire place, we will continue to send connections over the miles to you, and beseech the universe to send healing energy to Dan and to you all.

    With love and hugs, Lisa and Mark

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  3. Tim and MJ——- This was so hard to read today and will be so hard to sink in—You two, Dan and the entire Family are in Joan’s and my hearts and prayers as we move forward through the Holidays and beyond !!! The World never seems fair especially as difficult things happen that are out of our control and make us change or readjust our lives…..You are such an admired friend of mine and I wish you “peace of heart” and “strength of thought”———God Bless, Warren.

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  4. Every Sunday, when I speak with my congregation, I wrestle with the reality of joy and sorrow and everything in between gathered together in the same physical space. We are naturally repulsed by pain and drawn to pleasure, yet the truth is that life is a blending of all these experiences. Like an amalgam of metals made stronger when brought together, I suspect we are more than observers or users of the implements of life but—in our daily encounters: good and bad, enjoyable and excruciating—we are the fabric of life itself.

    Thank you for sharing your part of this life with us. As Paul of Tarsus once said, “The body is not made up of one part, but many…Those parts of the body that seem weaker are indispensable.” Again, thank you for sharing this difficult yet indispensable part of yours, Daniel’s, Julia’ and Bryan’s life with us.

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  5. Thinking, praying, hoping. I need my buddy! He got my humor! If you think of anything to help you guys, please let us know! Hugging those 2 little grandkids I’m sure helps. Take care.

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  6. Tim – I continue to learn from you & be inspired by you, years after working directly with you. Daniel is blessed to have you & MJ as his parents & biggest advocates. I will hold your family in my prayers and heart. Blessings to the Coats Family ~ Penny

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