What Did You Really See Today?

This is the final of three posts in a series inspired by the Irish poet, philosopher, and Priest John O’Donohue. 

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Many of us have made our world so familiar we dont see it anymore. A good question to ask yourself tonight is, What did I really see today?  -John O’Donohue

When our oldest son was born with Spina Bifida, our life became consumed with his medical needs and worries about his future. Would he be able to walk? Would he be able to attend college? What would become of his life? As time passed, Dan required more and more assistance. It wasn’t easy adjusting our family life around his physical limitations and medical necessities. At times, we became discouraged.

Looking back forty years, at every stair-step down in Daniel’s unfolding, we would’ve given anything to rewind the clock and return to where we had been. In retrospect, it’s clear that anxieties  about the future, and frustrations with the present, distracted us from fully appreciating the moment we were in. 

O’Donohue writes of this:

“All during the course of our lives we struggle to catch up with ourselves. We are so taken up, so busy and distracted, that we cannot dedicate enough time or recognition to the depths within us…When you think about it, you should not let yourself be pressured by life.”

That’s a nice sentiment, but it’s not easy to apply!

Heaven is not some distant objective, but rather a full experience right here and now. And yet, the weight of life often bears down on us.  I’m frequently guilty of tarnishing the gift of presence with distractions, frustrations, jealousies, and longing.

Much of life passes unnoticed, only to resurface in a fond memory. That’s why O’Donohue’s question is so important: “What did I really see today?”

Did I notice the beautiful white camelia bush as we entered the hospital to visit Dan on Christmas Eve? Did I see the daffodils pushing up through the earth as we backed out of the driveway in Portland? Was I fully present when our new granddaughter attempted to focus her eyes on my face?

Recently, on our way to the hospital, the sun made a cameo appearance, breaking through Oregon’s winter gloom. As we crossed the Willamette River on the Fremont high bridge, the west hills and downtown Portland briefly glistened. It raised our spirits, and it reminded me that life comes to us not as it is, but as we are. I’ve expressed that before, but it’s easy to forget and bears repeating. 

Life is not deterministic; we cannot know our future, but neither is it random. We manifest the life we experience. A fond memory is both an invitation and a reminder to place more attention on the present moment. Hence the question:

What did you really see today?

I’ll end this series with a blessing from the close of Anam Cara:

May my mind come alive today

To the invisible geography 

That invites me to new frontiers

To break the dead shell of yesterdays

To risk being disturbed and changed 

-John O’Donohue

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