The Power In A Name

I was walking through the neighborhood recently when I saw a woman I recognized working in her yard.

Georgia? Is that you?

She looked up, and I could tell she didn’t quite recognize me. Breaking the tension, I said, “It’s Tim; you sold us our house on Merritt Circle thirty-eight years ago!

“Tim, it’s you!” “How are MJ (my spouse) and Dan (our son)? I remember he had a disability. Is he doing alright?”

What? I hadn’t seen Georgia in thirty-eight years, and she remembers my wife and son’s names. Is that crazy, or what? She’s in her eighties. We stood in her driveway and visited for a half hour. 

Remembering names is a superpower I wish I had.

Another time, My son and I were walking through a car dealership showroom to the parts counter, and our salesman recognized us from across the room. “Hi Tim, it’s great to see you. How are you doing, Daniel?”

What? It had been five years since we bought the car from this guy ( I had no idea what his name was). He saw us and remembered my name and my son’s. Unbelievable!

One more story:

When I worked at The Pillsbury Company in the mid-80s, I had the opportunity to meet the new  CEO at a cocktail hour. There were about a hundred mid-level managers at the event. Jack Stafford worked his way around the room, shaking hands individually with each of us. I was running commodity purchasing then and, like others, got my twenty-second brush with fame.

About nine months later, I stepped into the elevator in the lobby of our office building, and Jack Stafford stepped in behind me. I hadn’t seen him since the cocktail hour. “Hi Tim,” Jack said, sticking out his hand. “What’s new in Purchasing?”

What? The CEO remembered my name and the area I worked in. How is that possible? 

There’s power in a name!  It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s flattering when someone unexpectedly remembers our names! The sound of it always falls sweetly on our ears. Think of the dozens of people you casually meet in the course of a year. Many of us don’t remember their names by the end of the conversation. Remembering names is a rare skill. So rare that when it happens, someone may write a blog post about it.

My father once relayed a story about an executive seminar he took on remembering names. He was shocked when the instructor said that remembering names had very little to do with how good one’s memory is; rather, it has to do with what one deems important.

I was skeptical of that explanation. Names are important to me; I’m simply not good at remembering them.  Dad said he used to believe the same thing and, in fact, challenged his instructor on that very point. The instructor then relayed a scenario:

“Let’s say you meet a guy in the parking lot of your neighborhood grocery store. He walks up, tells you his name, and then opens his sports coat to reveal a pistol in his waistband. He then tells you that he lives in the neighborhood, and if your paths ever cross again and you fail to remember his name, he’ll put a bullet in your head.”

Do you think you would remember his face and name? I know I would!

Remembering names is about what one considers to be important, after all! 

It’s been years since that sobering revelation was brought to my attention. I’ve tested the theory and found it to be true. I’m still not very good at remembering names in general, but in the small community where our lakeside cabin is located, I rarely forget a name. Why? Because I’ll probably run into those people again!  

Would you like to get better at remembering names?

If so, now you know how!

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