The Secret Within: Chapter 10, Seeking Union

The Secret Within is a book I’m writing about the art of finding happiness and peace amidst personal difficulties. 

This is the 10th installment. Previous installments can be found here.

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10: Seeking Union

Nothing in the universe exists in isolation. Every element in nature is intricately woven into a larger whole, a framework, an ecology, or a community of being. However, it often doesn’t feel that way!

A recent study by the Cigna insurance company revealed that 58% of adults feel lonely. They concluded that loneliness is becoming an increasing issue in mental health.  

Loneliness is wrapped up in the paradox of life. Our concept of Self comes from inside, giving us the inextricable sense that the world we encounter is outside and separate from us. The more discretely we define the boundary between Self and the outside world, the greater the potential for isolation and loneliness. 

Mystics apprehend reality differently. Unity is a persistent theme in their writings. Three of my favorite mystics are Rumi (c. 1207 – c. 1273), Meister Eckhart (c. 1260- c.1328), and Kahlil Gibran (c. 1883 – c. 1931). Their life views were centered but lacking manifestations of ego. 

What is it that these enlightened sages intuited that most of us miss?

Evelyn Underhill (c. 1875 – c. 1941) offered an insightful answer in her book Practical Mysticism. A Little Book for Normal People, published in 1914 at the onset of WWI. Underhill defined mysticism as the practice of seeking “union with reality.” That is a beautiful phrase. Most of our problems arise from battling the reality we find ourselves in. Union offers a solution. But how is it achieved? 

That’s a difficult question. Concepts of a separate Self are deeply ingrained. A strong Self-concept is vital for behavioral health, but it can take us too far. To find union, we must release our ego-centered grip on life, including the constant chatter of self-referential thoughts. 

Twenty years ago, I began a mindfulness practice focused on awareness absent of thought. It wasn’t easy initially, but as my practice evolved, I discovered that awareness did not require thought. Letting go of thought eliminates distractions, making room for a deeper connection to the present moment. Perhaps that’s why Underhill’s definition resonated with me. Mindfulness practice deepened my experience of union with reality.   

Loneliness accompanies isolation. We erase loneliness when we feel connected. To that end, nature is an excellent teacher. One can develop a closer relationship with nature by dividing a small notebook into the 52 weeks of the year and then endeavoring to observe something new in nature each week. I did this for ten years, slowly discovering for myself that everything is connected! Plants, insects, and wildlife participate in a dance that follows a consistent rhythm.  Observing this, I felt more connected to the natural world around me. 

Slowing down our busy minds and shifting our attention to what is happening around us reveals immense connectivity. When the wall separating what we feel on the inside and what we observe on the outside comes down, our context for life changes. Seeking union is an exercise in dissolving the boundaries of Self.   

Daniel Ladinsky’s translation of the 14th-century Sufi poet Hafiz captures the beauty of the connected reality we participate in: 

“Even after all these years

The sun never tells the earth

You owe me

What kind of love is that?

It lights up the whole world.”

I’ve not progressed very far in my enlightenment. More often than not, Self is my frame of reference. However, momentary glimpses of union beyond separation have changed my life. 

We discover union when we unburden our lives from thought and the weight of Self.

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Installments of The Secret Within can be found here.  

Former blog posts can be found here by subject category and here chronologically. 

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My first book, Towards A Life Well-Lived, can be purchased by clicking this link. Proceeds from sales are donated to Peace In Schools, a Portland, Oregon-based organization supporting mindfulness training in high schools.