The Secret Within: Chapter 18, Balancing Personal Energy

The Secret Within is a book I’m writing about the art of finding happiness and peace amidst personal difficulties. 

This is the Eighteenth installment. Previous installments can be found here.

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18.  Balancing Personal Energy

I’ve always been fascinated by the inner life. Even as a small child, I was awestruck by the mysterious realization that “I am me,” a conscious, independent being. 

As an adult, I studied Eastern philosophy and began a meditation practice to probe the depths of awareness. In doing so, I discovered its transformational power. 

That may seem like a strange claim. Awareness is innate; what’s transformational about that? 

We first notice awareness through thought: “ I think, therefore, I am.” But the mystery of existence runs deeper than thought. One must be aware to think, but thinking is not necessary to be aware.  Carefully observing awareness reveals its depth. 

What became clear was that awareness requires energy. Sometimes, energy is drawn inward to ourselves; other times, it’s released to the world. When these energy flows are not balanced, emotional turmoil follows. 

This chapter examines six types of awareness from the perspective of personal energy flow and how to manage them to achieve balance. The first three modes deal with personal awareness, while the remaining three involve relational awareness.

Personal Awareness

Ego…Awareness is focused on the Self; energy is drawn inwardly. 

Flow…Awareness is focused on a task; energy flows outwardly. 

Presence…Attention is placed on what is happening moment by moment. It requires paying attention to paying attention. When Present, energy flows are balanced. 

Relational Awareness

Resonance…accompanies openness. The more open we are to external connections and relationships, the higher our potential resonance. Resonance is maximized when we are completely in tune with an experience. 

Radiance… is the energy we transmit to others. Charismatic people display high radiance, while narcissistic individuals display very little.

We…involves a reciprocal exchange of radiance and resonance. When in love, these relational energies are wide open and unrestricted. 

Let’s take a closer look: 

Ego

The ego is energized by thought, and the self is always the reference point. Ego is not a character flaw; it’s a context. All thought is ego-centric as it arises from experience, and the self is the context for our experience. As adults, much of our awareness is dedicated to thought. We are naturally ego-centric. 

The ego is like gravity; it draws energy inward. We sometimes hear the term ego-blind, which is an apt description. When consumed in thought or focusing entirely on ourselves, we are blind to what is happening around us.

Flow

A person in Flow devotes their entire awareness to a task. Examples include artists, musicians, woodworkers, and scientists consumed by their work. When in Flow, hours pass like minutes. Flow has been described as a peak experience. In Flow, we aren’t distracted by thoughts or concerns. Flow is utterly relaxing because pent-up personal energy is vented outward! 

Presence

When Present, our attention is placed entirely in the moment, where we actively notice the feeling of an experience. When Present, energies outside us resonate within us. The Beach Boys called this “Good Vibrations!” Presence enables us to “tune in” to the faint radio signals of life that are missed when consumed in thought. Presence is a state of energy equilibrium.

Resonance

Resonance emerges from the foundation of Presence or openness. When we are present, personal barriers are removed, and we exhibit heightened receptivity to the world. There are many examples of this:

When awestruck by natural beauty, we are in a state of high Resonance.

When an experience causes the hairs to stand on the back of our necks, that is Resonance.  

Resonance is a combined state of acceptance and union, a state of being in sync with the world. The more present we become, the greater our Resonance.

Radiance

Radiance is the radioactive essence of our Being. 

Have you ever known someone so charismatic that you felt strongly connected when they entered the room? This can happen with people we barely know. Years ago, our family attended a church that had a charismatic minister. We didn’t attend the church for very long, and I never had the chance to get to know Gordon personally. And yet, as soon as he entered the room, I felt his energy. His mere glance in my direction made me feel better. I marveled at his charisma. Others felt the same way. Gordon energized everyone. He was radioactive! 

Singer-songwriter Shawn Mullins claims, ”We were born to shimmer, born to shine.” While Gordon was an extreme example, we are all “radioactive.” Our Radiance increases as we open ourselves to others. 

We

We is formed through the mutual exchange of Resonance and Radiance. Love is the ultimate form of We. Three energies are involved in all instances of love; borrowing lyrics from The Avett Brothers, there is “I and Love and You.” The I and You are apparent. The third energy, love, binds “Self” and “Other” together. The philosopher Ken Wilber describes this as “The miracle of we.” The experience of We is beautifully mysterious, full of meaning, and utterly indescribable. Spirit energizes We; it is an active ingredient of life.

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Energy actions all awareness, yet we are often oblivious to our energy state. Energy imbalances trigger emotional distress. Tuning into personal energy states reveals where we are out of balance.

Feeling emotionally exhausted is a sign that we have trapped energy inside. The solution is to engage in an activity that produces Flow, which triggers the release of that pent-up energy. 

Feeling that life has passed us by is another symptom of trapped personal energy. It is symptomatic of a lack of Presence. Silent fitness (covered in Chapters 13-15) can restore balance in this regard. 

A life that has lost meaning has a deficiency of Resonance. Typically, this happens when we close down and retreat to the confines of Self. A loss of meaning is another way to describe a loss of connection. Connections require us to open ourselves to the world. The more we do this, the greater our potential Resonance. 

The three examples above show an energy imbalance triggered by awareness trapped by the Ego.

Flow, Presence, and Resonance allow trapped energy to escape, restoring balance. 

Many people are lonely due to a lack of We in their lives. The solution is to open up and find ways to hold hands with the world and each other. This requires increased vulnerability, which we shy away from. Vulnerability is the price paid for greater companionship.

The default mode of awareness is the Ego. The above energy imbalances are characterized by an overdeveloped Ego trapping energy inside. This is common! Restoring balance requires shifting awareness from  Self toward Presence, Resonance, and We. Here are some options:

1. Involvement in activities and causes that are greater than Self.

2. Increasing curiosity. Seeking out new activities. Exploring one’s world. 

3. Opening up to others and making oneself more vulnerable. 

Personal energy equilibrium is critical to emotional well-being, happiness, and peace. 

Hopefully, the above examples provide impetus for further investigation and beneficial actions.

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Installments of The Secret Within can be found here. 

Former blog posts can be found here by subject category and here chronologically. 

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My first book, Towards A Life Well-Lived, can be purchased by clicking this link. Proceeds from sales are donated to Peace In Schools, a Portland, Oregon-based organization supporting mindfulness training in high schools.