Bad Influences

MJ and I have been married for nearly fifty years and until recently, never voted for the same candidate in National Elections.

I bring this up because rising numbers of young people are reportedly divorcing due to political differences. Political ideology wasn’t a deal breaker when I was young. I don’t remember ever discussing politics with MJ. 

While we were dating, Jimmy Carter was President; Ronald Reagan was elected two years later. That was a big change, but it didn’t present any issues in our relationship. We joked about voting being a waste of time because we always canceled each other out. Most importantly, we aligned on issues impacting our marriage and family, like friendships, finances, kindness, ethics, and aspirations. 

Times have changed.

Today, friendships end over decisions about donning a facemask. House signage proclaims what matters to occupants, and social circles feature political homogeneity.  

What happened to us?

Back in the day, we all drank from the same trough. We tuned into the six o’clock news and Walter Cronkite told it like it was. Everyone trusted him. Newspapers tilted right and left, but that wasn’t a big deal; most people subscribed to newspapers for the full-page color advertisements. Promotional materials were targeted straight down the middle so as not to alienate potential customers. 

Today, the internet is rocket fuel for market segmentation. News comes in an endless variety of flavors. Marketers understand that revenue follows eyeballs. Alignment with target audiences is more important than facts. Truth, in our era, follows the money! 

The internet democratizes information access, bringing us irresistible functional apps. The only cost to us is the cookies we leave that feed the machine. George Orwell wouldn’t have guessed we would so willingly exchange privacy for free access to Candy Crush.

Ideological ecosystems are springing up like crabgrass in Springtime. The result is a politically polarized nation. One side listens to Joe Rogan, the other, to Ezra Klein. Both sides are happy; everybody wins! 

But something is making us sick!

Our realities have diverged. One side obsesses over contrails, while the other fixates on identity.  Both sides rely on facts from trusted sources.

Disagreement is not new, but modern informational ecosystems make us less tolerant, less kind, and less human. Everyone knows the internet negatively influences tweens and teens. But here’s a newsflash: it’s a bad influence on us, too!

To be fair, elders have always worried about society going off the rails. When I was a kid, parents freaked out over the out-sized influence of the “boob tube.” Today it’s the internet. Marshall McLuhan was correct, “The media is the message!” 

What can we do about it anyway?

Here’s my response:

Step 1, I’m opting out of mainline media’s business model by canceling my legacy subscriptions (WSJ, The Economist, The Atlantic, The NYT etc). Ignorance is bliss, right? No, but I got tired of paying pundits to rile me up. Instead, I’ve put my favorite Steven Covey habit to action: “Seek first to understand.” It’s incredible how many high-quality sources are available on Substack and Medium that help me understand the world. Furthermore, they are ad-free. I make a point of seeking insight from multiple viewpoints, and feel more informed in the process.  I am always looking for new sources of insight or inspiration; comment or email me if you have a favorite you’d like to share. A few of my current sources are listed here.

Step 2, I rarely use Google anymore. Google tracks the crap out of you. Every search you’ve ever done is stored in their cloud—forever! Page one search returns are clogged with advertisements targeted to your search profile.  I Googled car insurance rates not long ago; that was a big mistake! 

I now use AI as a research assistant. Claude 3.7 Sonnet is my favorite. Sure it hallucinates, but I never take anything I read as Gospel. Best of all, the marketing boys and girls haven’t yet figured out how to monetize AI queries.  

Step 3, I’ve replaced polarizing vitriol with sources that quench the soul. The Marginalian is at the top of my list.

These changes have been beneficial. I stay informed, but I’m less tense, less pissed off! I feel myself assuming the role of a watchful spectator rather than a rabid fan screaming at the umpire. My blood pressure was way down at my recent annual check-up.

Tailored news feeds groom us to be activists. To be fair, activists play an important role in society. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to relegate the tip of the spear to the next generation. I hope that works out well for us. 

I was thinking about Mom recently. She always kept a keen eye on new friends I brought home to sniff out potential bad influences. 

It’s a shame that many of our moms aren’t around today; we hold more bad influence in our hands than she could’ve ever imagined. 

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My first book, Towards A Life Well-Lived, can be purchased by clicking this link. Proceeds from sales are donated to Peace In Schools, a Portland, Oregon-based organization supporting mindfulness training in high schools.