Seeking Balance In An Angry World

I tend to wake up early, like 4:30 AM. When this happens, I usually spend an hour catching up on the news. 

I’m beginning to rethink this habit.

We’ve become polarized, angry, and dissatisfied. Something is making us sick. Maybe it’s media eco-sysystems that feed extremism, or perhaps economic frustrations. No doubt, the decay of trusted institutions plays a role. Some even suggest that the American Dream has slipped away.

I have another theory.

Boomers birthed the “Me” generation, and over the past fifty years, the guiding light of self-interest has risen to predominance, leading to excesses across the spectrum of our social and economic lives. 

What has gone missing is not the American dream, but a fundamental essence of what we value beyond self-interest. Somewhere in the rampant pursuit of more me now, we’ve lost meaning, a sense of purpose, and the feeling that we are in this together. 

The yin and yang of balance is an essential aspect of existence. When things get too far out of kilter, nature corrects it. We are living that correction. Even though our modern world has given us never-before-attained wealth across every economic stratum, we’re still not happy.

When there is too much ‘me’ and not enough ‘we’, society splinters and decays.

The natural order of things is union. If you doubt that, look around! The universe pulls things together, from sub-atomic particles to galaxies. Yet, the ethos of our times drives us apart. This is a temporary aberration. We are not separate from our environment nor one another. Behaving as though we are has thrown us desperately out of balance. 

What then do we need to do?

The answer begins with shifting the lens through which we view the world.  

Each of us has a native perspective, derived from the unique circumstances of our lives. We assume that we experience the world as it is, when actually, we experience the world as we are. There’s nothing inherently wrong with individualism. Economic self-interest, also known as capitalism, has delivered greater prosperity than the other socio-economic systems combined; however, when we over-index individualism, we suffer. In the absence of love, purpose, and community, self-interest runs amok.  

Human nature fuels the desire to acquire and control. Love operates on an entirely different plane, drawing us together in ways that often defy logical explanation. What we need to do is restore balance between the two.

What does that mean for me (and you)?

First, and this is really hard, we must learn to accept that individual perspectives and beliefs differ.  This is not about right and wrong. Stalwarts of the political left and right firmly believe the other side is driving the country to ruin. Neither is correct. What we must do is shift our attention to purposes that supersede our differences.

No two people experience the world in the same way. Our opinions, preferences, and even our facts arise from our differing perspectives. It’s often hard to understand where someone expressing an opposing viewpoint is coming from. But, (and this is the important part), their world makes as much sense to them as ours does to us.

Rather than viewing the world solely through our own perspectives, we must adopt a broader perspective of acceptance and tolerance. We may never fully understand or agree with a contrary viewpoint or lifestyle, but this shouldn’t prevent us from valuing a person’s humanity beyond their views.

Acceptance is a precursor to love. When we learn to accept alternative viewpoints, we are more capable of building community. This is not capitulation or acquiescence; it is merely acknowledgment that differences do not make our opposites less human or less worthy of our respect.  My wife and I voted for different candidates in every major election during the first thirty years of our marriage. That never impacted our love or respect for one another. 

Sometimes agreement isn’t possible. Disagreements between family members frequently result in estrangement or worse.  However, love is always possible. The path toward love requires that we prioritize acceptance over judgment. 

Our middle son sees the world differently from my wife and me. This led to some very difficult situations during his teenage years. One day, with no warning, he left home. We had no idea where he was. He refused to answer calls or respond to text messages. After several days, we became very worried. We were at a total loss on what to do. Then, on the advice of a wise and caring health care professional, we texted “We Love You” to his phone. That was it. 

He returned home the next day.

Love isn’t easy, but it builds bridges beyond understanding.

Our opposites have hopes and dreams, as well as insecurities and vulnerabilities, just like us. 

Rather than succumbing to the clickbait of media extremism, we can choose to restore balance in our lives by practicing the arts of acceptance and love. 

The ship of state will forever tack left and right, sometimes aggressively so. However, our future depends on collaborative efforts towards a purpose that transcends our differences. We’ll get to that stage at some point, but I fear it will take a while.

Throughout my working years, it was critical for me to stay informed on world events. I wonder what good comes from doing that now? Would I be better off reading something affirmative and inspirational rather than the divisive and depressing news? Would that better prepare me to positively contribute to our hostile world?

The answer seems obvious. 

We are better than this. However, getting back to good as a society begins in each of our own hearts. Rather than fanning the flames, let’s shift our attentions, in whatever small ways we can, to building acceptance and tolerance.

This is the way of the peaceful warrior.

————————————————

Former blog posts can be found here by subject category and here chronologically. 

You can subscribe to my latest posts by filling out your email address at the bottom of this page.  

My first book, Towards A Life Well-Lived, can be purchased by clicking this link. Proceeds from sales are donated to Peace In Schools, a Portland, Oregon-based organization that supports mindfulness training in high schools. 

Stay tuned for my new book, The Secret Within, which I expect to make available in time for the Holidays.