Integrity

Integrity was drilled into me as a child. 

My father was a serious man; universally respected, but not exactly the kind of guy you would throw back a few beers with. There was a distinct separation between parents and buddies in those days. Parents were respected, and perhaps even feared, in a healthy way. When I got into teenage mischief, I was more worried about my parents finding out than being caught by the police.

Growing up, I learned personal integrity by example, and not just from my parents. In those days, a person’s word was their bond; respectable people told the truth, and if you promised to do something, you kept your word. 

That’s not to say we didn’t get into trouble. In my sophomore year of high school, a buddy and I got caught on our maiden voyage with alcohol. His parents informed my parents. Dad called me into his office as soon as I got home. It felt like a summons to the gallows. What transpired was worse. In a calm, measured voice, Dad said, “ I would never do anything to make you ashamed of me. In the future, I would appreciate you returning the favor.”  That was it. 

I would rather have been grounded for a month. 

Virtues were front and center in those days. I can only conclude that our elected officials were raised differently. Journalist Oliver Wiseman, writing for The Free Press, recently hit the nail on the head: “This crisis of trustworthiness is the skeleton key to understanding so much of the turbulence and disorder in public life today.”

Early in my career, I was responsible for purchasing food ingredients for The Pillsbury Company. We were one of the largest buyers in the country.

The Amalgamated Sugar Company in Ogden, UT, was a large supplier.  I would fly out and meet with their Senior VP of Marketing and Sales to discuss purchases for the upcoming year. At the time, Quentin was in his early 60s, and I was in my early 30s. Quentin preferred not to discuss business under fluorescent lights, so we usually met at a local ski hill.  But this was no boondoggle; we each paid our own way. 

On the chair-lift going up the mountain, I would ask Quentin what the season’s best market price for sugar was likely to be. Quentin was a man of few words and the highest integrity. He didn’t play games. When he threw out a number, I could trust it to be a candid and honest evaluation of the market. We often concluded a year’s worth of business worth tens of millions of dollars before the lift reached the top of the hill. No formal contracts or written documentation were necessary. Quentin’s word was as good as gold.

Today, too many things are fake, making us suspicious of everything; lawyers substitute for virtue. I recently read that almost half of Gen Z and Millennials get prenups before marriage. Where did this come from?

I’m afraid the answer is obvious: an overindulgence in self-interest, which doesn’t mix with integrity.

Back in the day, we trusted one another. I couldn’t even have told you what a prenup was. If a twenty was found on the floor in a store, you would take it to the nearest sales clerk in case someone came back looking for it. The same rules applied if a purchase was undercharged. Failing to acknowledge and correct such a mistake was cheating.

People are quick to point out institutional rot in our country, but where does that begin? It’s easy to spot politicians’ lack of integrity, but what about the rest of us?  What happens when we find that twenty, or get undercharged by a cashier? 

Integrity should always come before self-interest. 

If we truly want to make America great again, we could start there!

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My first book, Towards A Life Well-Lived, can be purchased by clicking this link. Proceeds from sales are donated to Peace In Schools, a Portland, Oregon-based organization that supports mindfulness training in high schools. 

Stay tuned for my new book, The Secret Within, which I expect to make available in time for the Holidays.