On Turning Five

Our eldest Granddaughter recently turned five.

I only mention that because I vividly remember turning five, but not much before then.

On my fifth birthday, my parents gave me a record player. It was robin’s egg blue, with a white hinged top closed with latches. The record player featured four playing speeds: 16, 33, 45, and 78 rpm. A round adapter was included to play 45s. I played that record player so much that Mom fabricated a lie to maintain her sanity, telling me I could only play it for two hours each day, or else it would wear out.

Five must be a significant age for cognitive development, because from age five on, my memory picks up dramatically. 

Reflecting on this, I suddenly realized that our Granddaughters will remember very little, if anything, about the time we’ve spent together up to now. How is it possible that all those precious moments will disappear from their memories?

I thought about this for a long while, eventually concluding that there’s a big difference between knowledge and love.

Knowledge is held in memory. In the absence of memory, it disappears. Love, however, is retained forever.  Studies of early childhood development irrefutably demonstrate the lifelong value of loving relationships in our early years. 

Love endures because it is retained in the soul, that very real part of us that science can’t explain. Up to now, MJ and I probably haven’t impacted our Granddaughters’ knowledge, but I suspect we’ve meaningfully impacted their souls.

The young mind (and in fact any healthy mind) seeks knowledge. The soul, on the other hand, seeks union. Without love, union goes missing in our lives, and we collapse inwardly, becoming miserable.

Knowledge and love are the yin and yang of existence! Knowledge bolsters individuality, while love fosters union. Interestingly, the need for union, even unhealthy unions, supercedes individuality. This explains gang membership, affiliation with wacko conspiracy theories, and political extremism. The common thread among all of these is the need to belong.

Knowledge drives accomplishment. It has taken us far, but it seems that we’ve outrun our headlights. Our souls hunger for union. Perhaps today’s polarization is not due to them, but rather to a desperate need to belong.  

The more I thought about it, the better I felt about the impact we’ve had on our Granddaughters’ lives. They may not remember these early years, but the love we’ve shared will be with them forever. 

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My first book, Towards A Life Well-Lived, can be purchased by clicking this link. Proceeds from sales are donated to Peace In Schools, a Portland, Oregon-based organization that supports mindfulness training in high schools. 

Stay tuned for my new book, The Secret Within, which I expect to make available in time for the Holidays.