How Should We Live This Life?

Is it just me, or does the year 2000 not seem that long ago to you, too?

I’m not into the “New Year, New Me” gig; mostly, for practical reasons.  I used to make New Year’s resolutions, but there are only so many times one can resolve to lose 30 pounds before just saying, “screw it!”

I do, however, reflect on how I want to live my life.

At the close of a year, I usually try to post something I’ve learned, or at least am working towards. This year, I picked twelve steps from my “How I want to Live My Life” list to share. 

Feel free to borrow any that resonate.

How I Want To Live My Life

Step 1:  Recognize That Things Are Getting Better

I refuse to join the ranks of the “glass half empty” crowd!

This is, without doubt, the best time in the history of the human race to be alive. That’s not hyperbole, but fact. (To wit: The best Life Expectancy, Health outcomes, Economic Opportunities, and Human safety, in history; to name just a few.) 

I am a charter member of The Rational Optimist Society. Check out their website and sign up for the weekly newsletter if you need a recurring shot of enthusiasm.

Step 2:  Live Like the Most Important Time Is Now

Our life happens now, and now, and now. We know this, and still, we let the present moment slip away. I am actively working toward changing that. 

Step 3: Accept the Elephant In the Room

In the vernacular, life can be a bitch. Bad things happen. The last two years have been the most difficult in my life. But everyone carries a burden (usually it’s hidden from view). The best way I’ve learned to face pain is to accept it—completely, which means refraining from wishing things were different. Step 3 is the toughest one on my list. I work on it daily. 

Step 4: Internalize the fact that life’s not about me.

It’s taken me most of my life to figure out that life isn’t about me, and to begin acting accordingly. My life is finite, but life goes on. I find comfort in internalizing the fact that I am about life rather than life being about me. It makes me part of something bigger than myself. Additionally, it helps me make a conscious effort to merge with the flow of life rather than swim against its current. 

Step 5:  Keep On the Sunny Side of Life

Keep On the Sunny Side is the title of a gospel song written in 1899 by Ada Blenkhorn, made popular a hundred years ago by The Carter Family. 

One of the reasons I write this blog is to force myself into a routine of thinking about positive things. Life is hard; we all need routines to get us through the dark days. Over the years, I’ve purposely crossed busy streets to walk on the sunny side, often while singing the chorus to the above tune in my head. (I’d share the lyrics, but my editor recently informed me that quoting song lyrics is a violation of copyright law) Anyway, it’s a corny sentiment, but thoughts become our actions, and our actions become our destiny, so I nurture sunny thoughts.

Step 6: Keep Passion Alive

Few things are accomplished in life without enthusiasm. It is critical to stay enthusiastic by finding one’s passion in life and following it. I love sharing ideas…hence the blog. I also love music and have been a lifelong audiophile. Fortunately, MJ supports regular upgrades to my audio equipment.

Step 7: Focus on something bigger than Self

The Self is like a black hole that sucks everything toward it. We are all guilty of self-centeredness. That’s why it’s so important to engage in activities that provide contributions to something larger than oneself. During my work years, I served on numerous volunteer Boards. I dropped that after retirement, but I am hopeful that my writing brings sunshine into people’s lives.

Step 8: Never Forget that Perspective Is Reality, and That People’s Perspectives Differ

I used to think that reality was a given. Life has proven me wrong.  One’s perspective is their reality, which means our realities differ. At work, I was responsible for our company’s purchases. Over time, I learned that one of the most effective negotiation approaches was to put myself in the other party’s shoes, viewing the negotiation not from my perspective but from theirs. This helped “Expand the Pie,” i.e., identify solutions that enabled both parties to register wins. Our divisive, politically charged times desperately need more of this! 

Step 9: Redirect My Judgmental Energy To Understanding 

I have a long way to go on this one. In the past, I was rewarded for my ability to make rapid judgments. Someone once said that our greatest strengths become our greatest weaknesses. It’s true!

Whenever I make the effort to become more deeply involved with a person or situation I’ve harshly judged, I find myself revising my opinion. 

Step 10: Always Remember That Freedom Comes From Within

My new book, The Secret Within, is in the final stages of editing. The book covers lifetime learning related to this step. I believe it will be the most important thing I will ever share. I work daily on practicing what’s covered in the book. I hope you will pick up a copy when it’s ready!

Step 11: Practice Recognizing that I Am Always Already Free

The neurotic Self is our greatest impediment to freedom. We believe circumstances determine our lives. Nothing could be further from the real truth; one’s perspective determines one’s life. When we practice saying yes to life, which means fully accepting what comes our way, we find freedom, peace, and joy. 

Step 12: Be Kind Whenever Possible, It’s Always Possible

I picked this one up from the writer George Saunders. It’s easy to be kind to puppies and small children, but not so much with each other. This is another step at the top of my “more work needed” list.

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That’s a long list, to be sure. Nevertheless, each month, I read through it, noting improvements I’ve made as well as areas where I have fallen short. It’s important to do that! I once had a boss whose favorite line was: “That which isn’t measured isn’t improved.” I’ve never forgotten that!

In closing, most New Year’s resolutions don’t make it to short-sleeve shirt weather. But thinking about how you want to live your life and developing an ongoing checklist are great habits to get into!

Happy New Year!

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Former blog posts can be found here by subject category and here chronologically. 

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My first book, Towards A Life Well-Lived, can be purchased by clicking this link. Proceeds from sales are donated to Peace In Schools, a Portland, Oregon-based organization that supports mindfulness training in high schools. 

Stay tuned for my new book, The Secret Within, which I expect to be available soon.