The title of this post is from Richard Rohr, a Franciscan Priest and widely read spiritual teacher. Does it ring true for you?
It sounds too easy, too passive, right? I’m guessing most people would disagree with him. Let’s try to figure out what he meant.
The statement begins with the word You. Who is that?
One might answer with a physical description, an occupation, affiliations, a family role, a geographic location, or a title. But those don’t tell us much, do they?
Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see the real you? I don’t, because I don’t identify as an old man.
But then, who am I?
Who are you?
Many of us might say that inside, we are our thoughts. You know, “I think, therefore, I am.” But thoughts are not the essence of who we are. This can be demonstrated with a simple question: Who is doing the thinking?
The closest we can come to our true essence is a shared trait: a self-reflective awareness of our aliveness. The best way to learn about our true Self is to watch what our awareness is doing; in other words, moment by moment, how are we responding to life? What are we thinking, sensing, and feeling? This is who we truly are. Hold on to that thought.
Let’s move on to the second part of Rohr’s claim. “You are already what you seek.” So what is it that you seek? A nice place to live? A new car? Enough money to make ends meet? Companionship? Love? Happiness? Peace? There are so many things we seek; surely Rohr doesn’t think we have all those things!
If I had read Rohr’s statement twenty years ago, I wouldn’t have had the faintest idea what he meant.
Here’s how I process it now:
The “You” in his statement is our aliveness; more specifically, it’s how we respond to it. So, what does our “aliveness” seek? Once again, we find commonality; we want to be accepted just as we are; we want our lives to mean something; we want to be loved; and, of course, we want to be happy.
Sadly, the search for these essentials often comes up short. Rohr must understand that. I think he has thrown us a curveball. We strive to improve our lives, and are always short on time. We never fully achieve what we strive for because once we achieve something, we want more! The punchline is this: Seeking is not the answer!
When I was young, I was confident in my abilities and disciplined enough to achieve most of the goals I sought; then our disabled son was born. It was a shock. I tried to rationalize our new situation; I felt that together, we could beat this. After all, disabled people have climbed Everest.
That didn’t happen, crisis after crisis, and surgery after surgery, a clear trend emerged, it was not upward sloping. The obvious was hard to accept. I buried myself in busyness and, in the wee hours before dawn, searched for answers, hoping to find an algorithm to set my life right.
It was not to be.
I came to Rohr’s hidden truth slowly, not through insight but through the practice of life. We are already what we seek, but fail to recognize it because of the distraction created by our pursuits. Our true essence is locked deep inside. Many never find the key, and those who do usually find it on a path of tears.
What is more precious than life? What is more precious than the simple feeling of being? If you haven’t considered those questions, you are indeed fortunate. Because such questions arise from the fires of difficult circumstances that one never chooses.
Let’s try a thought experiment. It’s dark, so bear with me. What if, on a follow-up medical exam, you learn that you have an aggressive metastatic cancer? You ask the Doctor how much time you have, and she tells you that you probably won’t be ringing in the New Year.
Wouldn’t you give anything to roll back your situation to the way it was before you received that news?
But you are already there, right now!
What we seek, and I never would’ve understood this as a young man, is not found through addition, which, after all, is what searching is about. The secret to life is found through subtraction, through letting go, and accepting life, just as it is and as we are.
Our son has lost the ability to function independently in every aspect you might imagine. I’ll spare you the details. Recently, we met with a social worker to requalify his disability status for medicare services. It’s a lengthy process with many intrusive questions.
At the end of an hour-long interrogation, the county social worker asked my son a final question: “What is most important to you at this time?”
He thought for a while before replying with a simple answer, “My life.”
I was speechless. He gets it; we already are what we seek. We are alive! Why is it so hard to graciously accept the simple feeling of being alive? Why do we wait until threatened with loss before coming to that realization?
Having been through numerous medical crises, my son and our family are resilient, but that’s not the secret. Resilience is about weathering the storm. Rohr’s statement moves us above the storm.
I’ve written a book that outlines clues and practices to do just that. The book is short, but its contents took me a lifetime to learn. It may not be something you feel like you need to read right now, but I bet you have a friend who could benefit from it.
The concepts and practices I share in the book did not come easily. But I am confident of their transformational power because I practice them daily. What you seek already lies hidden inside you. It is The Secret Within. Wouldn’t it be beautiful to live that truth?
I’d be willing to bet a lot of money that Rohr didn’t come to his insight painlessly.
————————————
If you enjoy my posts, please share them with a friend.
Former posts can be found here by subject category and here in chronological order.
To receive my latest posts, enter your email address at the bottom of this page.